A STORY OF SURVIVAL

HI TO ALL MY GG'S FANS!

Well, everyone, this is going to be a long blog!  Some of it may be upsetting but it is important for me to write this because it may help others. 

Up to now I have had fun telling you about my businesses and there is definitely more to come, but there was a big interruption in my life in 2003 and I want to share this time with you. 

Before I get to 2003 I want to say that the years running Diva were probably the happiest of my business career. The salon was a huge success and I loved working in it with all my lovely clients and staff. 

Unfortunately having a staff of females they all finish up getting married and having children, so the beauty girls gradually left to set up business in their own homes and we didn't need the second shop anymore. Our landlords were amazing and they took back the second shop to use for themselves and we reverted back to our first lovely shop with just one beauty therapist again. The nail girls stayed put and we were still very busy.

In 2001 Tony suggested that we look for a holiday home in Spain. I was not keen to do this, but our trips to Florida were never the same after my dad had passed away. The flights were getting longer and Katie & Rob were in their 20's and making their own holiday plans. Reluctantly I gave in and we arranged a weekend trip for an agent to show us properties along the coast.

We were met at Malaga airport by a lovely young real estate agent who we are still friends with to this day.  Patiently he drove us to see many properties, none of which we liked until he drove to an area called Casares where we could, at last, see the sea and the beach. 

We were hooked! We found a beautiful beach front apartment with the most amazing views, after may I add, changing our minds on another one that we bought and resold off plan! 

In July of 2002, we were the proud owners of our new home in the sun and we excitedly invited friends and family to visit and stay with us. We even had friends and family who loved it so much that they too bought a property in our community. 

In January of 2003 after suffering chronic back pain for some time I was advised to have a hysterectomy to relieve pressure on my lower back, and I decided to get it over with and had the surgery done in February. Unfortunately, due to complications it wasn't as straightforward as I had hoped and my recovery took a long time. 

We decided to go to our new apartment in March to help my recovery. The weather had not been very good that week, and it had been 5 weeks since my op and I still felt so tired, but Tony was sweet and looked after me, but he never liked it when I was ill, and after all the operation was supposed to be a minor procedure, but unfortunately a few things went wrong so I guess I was feeling a bit sorry for myself and needed some TLC.  

At the end of our stay we had decided to pack and get our things together early before our departure from Gibraltar, we had talked about driving to the airport and dropping off our luggage then taking a trip around the island, but I wasn’t sure if I would have the energy for that, still at least we wouldn’t have to rush and we would be in plenty of time for our flight.

I showered first and then started to dry my hair while Tony had a shower. The dryer was quite loud but I was sure I had
heard a bang, perhaps someone upstairs had banged a door, I was still getting used to living in an apartment instead of a house with thick walls. Something, however, made me think that this bang was coming from our apt. so I called out to Tony to see if he had heard it too. He didn’t answer.

I went in to see if he had not heard me because of the noise from the shower and there he was laying down in the bath, how did he get there, he had been standing under the shower, had he fallen?

The fear started to rise from my stomach to my heart and then I heard myself calling out to him to get up, I was so scared, why was he lying there not responding to me, help help! I was yelling ‘Tony get up’ he tried to lift himself up by the handles on the bath, I was holding his head up, but he gave up and fell back down, and it was then that I saw the blood trickle out of the corner of his mouth.

I remember banging and banging on the neighbours door, and a sweet little Spanish maid trying to understand me, help me help me I was yelling, she was alone, the neighbours were out she called her brother from upstairs where he was working too, I ran back to the apartment and found the phone.

As fate would have it, having talked about joining 'Helicopter Sanitarios' (an emergency health & ambulance service) every time we visited Spain, we had joined the company the day before.  

The number, where had we put it? Oh yes was it Tony that had said let's stick the number on the phone in case we forget where we put it? I was so scared, what had happened? Tony wasn't moving, and with shaking hands, I dialled the number... will they understand English? Help me, help me, I heard myself shouting, my husband has collapsed now I am crying and they are calmly asking where I am phoning from, what is my address. My address, I have only used it a few times, I managed to remember it and give it to the man on the other end of the phone, hurry, hurry I am shouting please hurry.

I was trying to lift Tony up out of the bath, the pain from my stomach was excruciating and he was a lifeless body I just couldn’t do it. I have asked myself so many times why did I try to do that, after all, he looked so peaceful lying there, and help was on the way, I should have covered him up and waited.

Suddenly the apartment was full of people, where did they all come from, the neighbours were there, I didn’t know them well, I had only met them a few times, then there were the neighbours from upstairs but they were all Spanish and they were talking to each other, and I didn’t understand, and I was crying so much now I couldn’t talk.

Then I heard it, an English voice, dear sweet Ron who had come from the other building was here trying to lift Tony from the bath. He did it with help from the maid’s brother and he laid him on the bed, but Tony's lips went blue, and that was when I thought he'd had gone.

I remember Ron calling to me, ‘its OK Jackie he is breathing again, but I didn’t believe him, and I couldn’t go near him, I was too frightened.

Then they came, the paramedics, they came in their red suits armed with cases and oxygen masks, they were the heroes, please, I was shouting, is he alive? Gently they moved me away from him and then they took over.

They injected liquids into his arm and gave him oxygen, the neighbours were trying to calm me down and I was shouting ‘what has happened?’ I remember looking into someone’s eyes, they were kind eyes, and they belonged to a woman who put her arms around me and said nothing, but I could feel her love and her compassion, she was to become my angel, dear Ana, she has been there for me since that day.

Suddenly we were all walking outside towards the ambulance, it’s going to be fine now Tony was awake and they were carrying him on a stretcher. Have you locked the door Jack he asked? Yes he was fine, he had just banged his head, probably slipped in the shower, what a fright he gave me, they will check him over and we may even make our flight home in time.

Ana & Patrice were helping me into their big car, we were going to follow the ambulance to the hospital, I had better phone the kids, Rob was picking us up from the airport.

My hair, was it dry? Had I got dressed I don’t remember. Yes of course I had, but I had no clothes for Tony, maybe these kind people would take me back to pick up clothes for him so when I took him home we could get ready for the airport.

Rob, dad’s had a fall I said on the phone, we may be delayed for our flight home, but no don’t worry he is fine, just got to get him checked out at the hospital, no don’t call Katie, she will worry and today she is having tea with her new boyfriend's parents.  

The journey to the hospital was relatively short, but here I was in a car with 2 strangers trying to make conversation but shaking with fear.
I called Pauline, the one friend we knew from England who was staying in Marbella at her apartment and asked if she would meet me at the hospital, Tony had had a fall but he will be fine, I just need someone around me who speaks English, she said she would be there as soon as she could.

We arrived at a building which resembled a hospital but was undergoing major repair work, we were shuffled into an area where people were sitting, and there began the first of many long, long, waits.

After many hours I was allowed to see Tony, he was laying on a hospital trolley looking peacefully asleep. I desperately tried to gather information from the nurses and doctors but they were still completing their tests. 

How long had I been there? I was beginning to lose all track of time.

Dear sweet Ana, my new friend who had not left my side since she and her husband Patrice had driven me to the hospital, stayed by my side. She spoke to the doctors for me, but they couldn’t tell her any news as they did not know what was wrong with Tony. Rob had called me, by then many times, and finally, I had given in and called Katie.

I played it down to both of my children, 'dad will be fine' I kept saying, I will call you as soon as I know. It was 9 hours later when they called me in to tell me that Tony had had a bleed in the brain and they would have to send him to another hospital that specialises in this condition.

I called our English private doctor and was shaking as I tried to explain what they had told me. He explained that Tony could have had this bleed from a fall and if so it may not be too serious, but at this time he did not discuss other conditions that may have caused the bleed, trying hard to reassure me, he told me to let him know as soon as I had a diagnosis.

I had sat for those long hours mostly in silence, in a large room which had been set up as a temporary waiting room, and was crying so much that at one time I couldn’t breathe through my nose due to my allergies. Ana, my angel, pulled out a nose spray from her bag, how did she know, and the relief felt so good at last I could breathe and gather my strength for what was to come.

By this time Pauline our friend had arrived and we all waited for the hospital to arrange transport with Helicopter Sanitarios by helicopter to the hospital in Malaga.

Time once again dragged on, until eventually I was told that the hospital had taken too long to prepare the notes and they would have to take Tony by ambulance to the 'Carlos Haya' Neurology Hospital in Malaga which was over an hour away. They explained that this would be dangerous as if the ambulance hit bumps along the way he could have another bleed, and also the journey would take a lot longer, but we had no alternative.

Once again Ana & Patrice were there to take me to the hospital and we followed the ambulance not knowing if Tony would still be alive when we all arrived.

I called the children again from the car, I could no longer hide my fear and they could tell from my voice that they needed to come to Spain as soon as possible. I called a close friend who offered to accompany them, as I knew they would need support and we arranged for them to fly the next day.

We arrived at the Carlos Haya Hospital in Malaga approx one hour later not knowing if Tony had survived the journey. The entrance to the hospital was packed with people all pushing and shoving to be seen by a doctor. Ana asked if someone knew if Tony had been admitted, and finally, we were told he had. A paramedic from Helicopter Sanitarios came to find me to tell me that he had survived the journey and was in the Intensive Care unit, they became my hero’s those kind men in their red suits who had been looking after him, I thanked him and went to find out where the Intensive Care unit was, once again accompanied by my Angel, Ana.

We took the lift and came out to a large waiting area with a circular bench area in the centre. There were loads of people in groups crying, and some even shouting with emotion. There were whole families comforting each other and we were just left to wait, once again.

This was slowly becoming my worst nightmare, but little did I realise that my nightmare journey had only just begun.

It was March 23rd which was a Sunday when Tony collapsed, and little did I think I would be at Malaga airport the next day meeting my 2 children Katie & Rob who had travelled with our friend. I fell into their arms sobbing, at least I now had my children with me. I was beginning to round up all the English friends I knew would be in Spain at this time, and one of them had been Matt who had sold us our apartment the previous year and who had become a good friend. Matt took me to the airport.

After a sleepless night at my friend Pauline’s apartment, I had left Tony in the intensive care unit still not knowing what was wrong with him, and not understanding the doctors and nurses explanations which were all in Spanish. My angel Ana helped to translate but by the time I had to leave him we still did not know what was wrong, they were to carry out tests on Monday when they hoped they would be able to tell me what was the diagnosis.

The following day we proceeded straight to the hospital where we were told to wait in a large barren room until they had some news, and once again we waited…and waited for another 9 hours.

It is strange how this amount of time can make up a full day’s work, or can fly you to the other side of the world, or  you can have a full nights sleep, but here we were just waiting and waiting with nobody giving us any information, it was the longest 9 hours of our lives, we just stared at one another only breaking off for food which we hardly ate. We kept sending our friend and Ana to find a doctor to give us news but they kept returning with none.

On one of these visits, they actually did manage to find a doctor who delivered the terrible news which they felt they couldn’t relate to us when they returned. Our friend told me a long time after this day that it was the hardest news he has ever had to deliver as I should have been the one to have heard it from the doctor, not him, and how was he going to tell me and the children that Tony had suffered an aneurysm in the brain, which was potentially a life-threatening condition which most people do not survive.

Poor Ana also had to translate the information that she had heard to us in detail and we just stared at them both when we were told.

Aneurysm, what was that? I had never heard of it, but my daughter had. Katie who was now in a strong relationship with her new boyfriend, he loved to watch medical programmes which she shared with him, and only recently they had watched an operation performed on an aneurysm and it was now her turn to keep what she saw from me and protect me from the seriousness of the condition.

We were sent to meet with the doctor who explained in broken English to us that Tony had suffered a massive haemorrhage in the brain, which was caused by a burst vessel, an aneurysm.

He had survived the initial bleed but they were concerned he could get another one and they were now going to perform tests to see if it was operable and would let us know. I was numb.


More to follow in my next blog......